crewdlydrawn:

radicallindsay:

I’m livid

That is the most Goldblumiest thing to say. I believe it.

overlord-of-turtles:

here’s the mood lads

wordbending:

dental plan

KRIS NEEDS BRACES

dental plan

KRIS NEEDS BRACES

(inspired by this art by @thoust-worms!)

cherryholleydraws:

doreenchartreuse:

cherryholley:

doreenchartreuse:

i bet noelle organizes a secret santa every year and everyone DREADS drawing her name bc how tf are you supposed to come up with an acceptable gift for Noelle Fucking Holiday, literal master of thoughtful gift giving and PROUD walking christmas tree ornament. there’s so much to live up to. so much pressure.  

kris is her secret santa. they give her a massive present, out of which bursts susie. everyone else in class hates this bc how is noelle’s santa next year meant to top a girlfriend??

oh my god

[ID: 2-panel comic. 1st panel: Noelle, in a pink and white Christmas jumper, looks at Kris’ present to her. The present is a large, white box with a pink ribbon. The rest of their class look on in the background. Panel 2: Susie, wearing a purple jumper with an axe on it, bursts out of the present, blushing. Noelle looks surprised and is also blushing. The class are all surprised. End ID]

jim-morrisenpai:

libraunlocked:

they….. they made no nut november legally binding….

stats:

stats:

mario cast reacts to you being sentenced to life in prison

mario: “thats-a too bad [y/n]… so long gay bowser!”

luigi: “fuck”

peach: “thats just terrible [y/n]! i’ll back you a fucking cake”

bowser: “the justice system is inherently flawed lets escape to my castle and have SEX!!! yar har har!!!! >:)”

yoshi: “why did you do it. WHY did you take the chaos emeralds. ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!!!!” *kisses you in frustration with a lot of tongue* *baliff drags him out of the courtroom*

toad: “i can and will kill for you [y/n] just say a name and i’ll see it through i dont fuck around prison won’t stop me and it won’t stop you”

wario: “You cant go to prison [y/n]!!! I’m…… i’m pregnant. And its yours” *gets an abortion while your n prison* “i got an a-bor-tion”

waluigi: “god all of this court business has got my cock simply throbbing!!! Waluigi time ;)”

daisy: “BALIFF!! Whack his pee pee!!!!”

this is significantly more funny now that the gif of wario’s ass was redacted by tumblr staff

astraltailwags:

anxious-depressed-potato:

astraltailwags:

I used my mediocre sewing skills to turn an old sweater into a snood for Gaea’s frozen ears

Babushka

Do you have any beets, babushka is making borscht

ardatli:

materassassino:

ardatli:

TIL… that in the middle ages there was a popular belief in a demon of language, one who collected the words of people women gossiping in church, and the mumbled syllables of priests who weren’t saying mass properly. He was also held responsible for scribal errors. “Later he haunted printing presses, causing typesetters to make mistakes.”

TIL… there is a typo demon, it has a name, and it is Tutivillus (Titivillus).

Can he leave me alone please

I asked and he said ni. 

Hey Tedbaldus, you missed a letter.

witchy-queer:

labradoritelost:

princesswitchlovesherking:

witchy-queer:

DON’T YOU DARE PUT SALT IN THE GROUND.

DO NOT CAST SALT CIRCLE IN THE DIRT.
DO NOT SALT THE GROUND TO CLEANSE IT.
DO NOT BURY SACHETS THAT INCLUDE SALT.

STOP SALTING THE GROUND.

YOU WILL MESS UP THE SOIL AND HURT THE PLANT LIFE.
USE SOMETHING ELSE.

DONT FORGET ABOUT SLUGS AND SNAILS

Some alternatives:

Crushed eggshells

Pure water

Cast a circle with sticks, rocks, leaves or other things laying on the ground

Yes to the above! 

String and simply energy also work for casting circles, as well!

Cleansing is easily done with charged waters, energy work, or sage and similar plants (by scattering or burning).