skyrim-hates-her:

i will tolerate any treatment.

like i game alone sometimes, and i’ll put up with anything.

i’ll buy a game from some garbage company –

you know, i don’t wanna name an actual company so let’s just make one up; let’s call it “bethesda.”

so i’ll buy a game from bethesda and I’ll show up at the store and i’ll go, “can i get a functioning game and a bag now, please?”

and they go, “no. it’s a shitty game and bag.”

and i go, “okaaay!”

and then i go to the bathroom.

and then i come out of the bathroom and i go, “any updates?” and they go “yeah, the game crashed while you were in the bathroom because we hate you! now take this refund that doesn’t work, go, fetch!”

and i go “ookaaaay!” and i go over to the refund site and go “can i have a refund please?” and they go “NO!” and i go “okaaaaay!”

and they go “you’re a dumbass gamer aren’t you?” and i go “noooo!” and they go “SAY IT” and i go “i’m a dumbass gamer!”

and then i go over to the bethesda help site which is a oxymoron and i go “can i please get a game and bag?” and they go “NO! in fact, we’re gonna release all your personal information and you’re gonna have your identity stolen!” and i go “why are you doing this to me?” and they go “because we’re bethesda, and life is a fucking nightmare!”